LUCKY SIN

The shitiest enviroment that fucks u up so bad. Believe me, today was the worst of drinking sessions i had there since god knows when. The crowd sucked ass & to top it off i had to get bruises pinched by sum drunk bitch cz she had a bad day?Goddamnit If u have a bad day plz stay in bed or just shoot urself leave strangers alone to do as they please.

Oh man whata bad trip, I left like round 8+ earliest ever and tried making my way down to the malaysian immigration, Oh my god, I thought my day couldnt get any better, but it did, Behind the counter was this fine ebony beauty with a smile that'd make the dead blink. Shahini, Shihini? I dont recall her name but after 11 beers im lucky to remember my last name & make it back home alive. Anyways i went "hey Shahini,...ur cute." Ahhh and afterwards that flammy eye contact with the bonus smile, Now ive got a real excuse to roll down to belading besides my best friend. haha. What is up with my obsession with black women that just drives me nuts??

The drive home was quick as usually, 25 mins to, and 13mins back. haha dont drink and drive ppl i highly dont recommend it. I have no choiceand therefore im forced to it. GOt back and pigged out on a whole cake, then got on line to blog this blog. Had a chat with Danny, man havent heard from this dude in ages and he's good to layan. ANyways I'm barely typing right here guess i'll edit this crap tomorrow when i sober up.

Got up 4hrs before my alarm went off, thanks to the recurring dream, i'm begining to think at some point it might be more of a nightmare now due to its side effects.

Recalled "V-for vendetta" which i watched last night before hitting the sack. Preety good story line, definately was impressed and by the end of it all i felt like i understood what V went through and how terrorism as how he potrays it seemed as decent as taking a walk in the park. Oh yea and "natalie portman" is preety hot bold.

Had an early lunch then got down to school to try get some tips for next weeks test. Marco showed up to do his presentation, while i was still trying to figure out where Harun lived despite the address msged to me already. A couple of mins later a decription of the directions was msged to me. Helped alot when i learnt it was on the way to belading. Immediately i took off and was like yea i know where it is. Like a few secs to his place i got a msg telling me he'd meet me in school, so i turned around and headed back to school.

My lecturer came around when i got to school & gave me some damn good tips. Had to photocopy a few copies for the rest of my classmates cause im nice. Sat around in the lab till now jz killing time. Fucking msn doesnt work & this is like a Computer School?? Bollocks! It's almost 5 now and i've to be in belading in a few hrs, i dunno if i can make the effort but will try for my best friend carlsberg.

Well i better go now it's the indian dude's last day in the pool house so i better try hustle sum dough through a couple of games before heading off to belading.

Labels: Movie Review

Finally sum decent sleep, still had the same dream but this time i was too tired to get up. Had branch later then left for an interview round 2.

First time i'm early for an interview, taught that'd make sum impression well if not for the interviewer at least for me. Half an hour waiting on the couch pretending to read the paper later i'm called in. The manager interviewing me was preety ok dude. Very straight to the point & kept the convo friendly. Eased me up alot there, cause usually during an interview i'd be all nervous and dying to get it over with. Overall i guess it was alright but im required to come back for a second round of interogation.

On the way back home stopped by SupaSave lambak to get sum munchies. GodDamn the whole parking lot was full of monkeys. Literally! From the sidewalks to the top of parked cars. Now eventhough im born in the year of the monkey, I hate to get too close to one. Cant stand their bitching & hair pulling. After a few mins looking for vitasoy paid for the bakery together and left.

Round 4+ went to school to pick up some exam tips, My lecturer was preety surprised to see me on time. Well i did promise her i'd make it earlier so the class could finish off early & she could finally spend some quality time with her niece?(whos been crying alot cz she's barely home anymore cz of work). See i'm a nice person, i make sacrifices for ppl too.

By the time Harun came we got off to the pool house. Made a couple of bucks, then sat around a bit to catch with an old classmate Riyas. Turns out he's going off to germany to study Chef? is that how u call it? to study Chef? Well anyways yea, u get the point. Got home round ten & didn't hesitate a second on dinner.

Went to school like round 4+ with the intention of getting some more tips for an upcomming test next week & also going through a few quick frames with Harun. Turns out i only managed to get one of it done, and sadly it's not getting the tips. 5 1/2 hours later and 60+ bucks richer(courtesy or Harun & Marco) we all finally decided to stop playing.

It got to the point where i was so exhausted & started fouling unintentionallyjz standing around, the whole 16 frames of last card(excluding the 5frames of snooker) was just intense, tiring & extremely hilarious. Now last card is a game that totally messes with ur mind & highly requires alot of thinking, conning & extreme bullshitting. Mix that with three different races & characters, u get a real show. haha.

Its nice to finally make it out of the pool house winning although i'd prefer itbetter if it was the indian dude i won off. Sent off marco then made my way back home, my body's totally failing me now due to lack of sleep & standing around for more than 5hrs straight, Havent stood that long since high school detention days.

Anyways i gotta go eat, bitching wont help with the hunger.

I keep getting the same repetitive dreams, getting up the same time in the morning for the past few days regardless of how late i turn in. it's like the first few mins of my getting up is some unwanted fucking rerun.

After breakfast rushed down to the workshop to finally get the airconditioning fixed after a couple of days. I never get what the mechanics are bitchin about everytime they try explaining the problem. All i know is to just stand there look responsive, keep my jaws shut & that when it's fixed and done with, it'll burn a hole in my pocket.

After agreeing to whatever they suggested, got into the office and sat there for the next 2hrs getting entertained by some chinese history show, where the only thing i understood was "we'll be right back after the commercials". Its embarassing being chinese yet not knowing how to read or write the language.

The bill came up to 200+ (a hole in the pocket indeed) after which i jz sped off back home in time for lunch. Oprah was on, not that i enjoy her shows but there's nothing better on and with my new sleeping routine guess im gonna have to miss out on "Whose line is it anyway" & "Malcom in the middle". After lunch got online had a long ass chat with Yeung who just got back from japan. This dude's hillarious.

Crap, got up too early, couldn't get back to bed & had the rest of the day to pay for it. Got caught up on Oprah during lunch, something bout top 20 burger joints in the states? It's so much better to be having a meal while sum show on food is on dont ya think? that way ya dont have to be drooling & missing the show to grab a bite.

Tried to cramp a few hours of revision for the test & actually did preety ok. By 7 i'm all tired & looking for a place to catch sum z's. Couldnt be bothered to drive back just yet. Went up the pool house, figured i'd be able to sleep there... i'm not even gonna go into the details on happened next.

The great depression struck otw home, sulking for no apparent reason besides the couple of bucks lost but yet even more sulking for reasons i cant quite figure out. I realized the only two ways i can be totally focused on day dreaming & sulking is while swimming & driving. It's a real concentration buster at times.

Was so glad to be home, got in the shower and just stood under running hot water for a long long while. Completely shut down my mind & let the water take its toll.

Having warm droplets of sharp yet non intrusive liquid hitting off ur face & gradually working its way behind ur ears......... down ur neck........... slowly towards ur belly & the small of ur back........ down ur thighs & finally ......leaving off ur feet. Is just progressively calm to a point where u can literally feel every single drop in ur mind wherever u allow ur consciousness to be at the very moment. Its nice to experience the warm & fuzzy feeling both physically & mentally, With me it's an amazing feeling.

i finally managed to keep up with normal ppl by getting up in the morning for once. There's a lot more to do in the day rather then being a bat it turns out. Got to school 6hrs early to get sum revision done for a test, ended up on the netinstead & sending that indian hustler to get his haircut. Had to wait sum fucking 30mins for him to get his shit done & didn'teven look any different before he stepped into the barbers'. i gotta learn to say no on favours from now on.

Got back & hooked up with Harun for a quick 3 frames, then to C.A.Mohammed for sum roti talor, fucking nyaman. After dinner we decided to cramp sumlast minute studying before the test. Bad Bad mistake it's like trying to fit a cat into a coke can, Anyways i happend to notice two preety decent looking ladies entering the restaurant, When they left i glimpsed at their ride & got a lil feeback. Exchanged the presidental wave with a smile later & they're off.

Now the funny thing was when i came up to the counter to pay the phone rang & the waitress picked it up & stalled my time with me standing there dying to go. Then all of a sudden she hands me the phone & on the other end, yup u guessed it(if u didnt i dont blame ya i didnt get it either), one of the girls that left a while ago. They managed to get my number & being in a really awkward position with the waitress staring at me & all, i made it quick paid & left. Shortly after that i starting getting acquainted with one of them through sms. I'm preety surprised with what they did (going through the directory help line getting C.A.Mohammed's number & called just in time before i left) yet kinda curious with what else they could come up with :P Anyways test was a lil hard, i wonder why.

After that met up with Jason who overslept and missed his test which was along with us. A few mins of convo, me, harun & marco are making our way to the pool house. Couldn't really concentrate much on the games with all the back & forth msging with both the girls but i figured at 10cts a point with snooker it shouldn't be a big deal right? Wrong. 2hrs plus later, i'm out close to $10 & Harun's pissing off $20+. We never learn do we, gambling is for skilled addicts not jz addicts. Sent off marco like close to 1am and headed home,

Now after a long long well deserved shower, I got to heat up all leftovers from home dinner, curry chicken, lemon fish & sum nice vege with eggs(hmmmmmmmmm). I guess i should eat now instead of wasting another min on this blog...

This is a technique to Lower Your BrainWave State, which i've used to apply for meditation. However once you've gotten flawless with it, you'll be able to access the theta state regardless of using this method or not.

At this level, you are supremely relaxed. You know you have reached the theta state when you are no longer conscious of your body. Outside sounds and impressions no longer register upon your senses. All that is and everythingthat shall be, exists in your mind. It is only your mind and your mind’s thoughts that exist in thetheta state. At the theta state, you are vibrating at the earth’s frequency and absorbing a great deal of energy. Your thoughts are lucid and more importantly,very very powerful.

Recall the colors of the rainbow? Here’s a refresher: Red, Orange Yellow, Green, Blue, Violet. In order to achieve the theta brainwave state. You must lie down, uncross your legs and arms, and breathe in slowly. After awhile, envision in your mind’s eye any red object. See an apple, Or perhaps a red Corvette. Really visualize it three dimensionally and drink in the detail. See the shimmer, the sparkle. Hold the image for about thirty seconds then fade the picture away. Start visualizing any orange object. It can be the orange fruit or a basketball. See the ridges on the basketball. Imagine the roughness of its hide. Fade the image away then do the same for Yellow until you have reached the color Violet. At this point, your brain is vibrating at low Alpha levels. Proceed to deepen the relaxation state.

When all the colors have been visualized, imagine yourself appearing in front of a staircase thatis leading downwards into the darkness. There are EXACTLY 21 steps. Step down to the firststep and feel the sensation of actually stepping down. Step down onto the second step andexperience the impression of descent. Do the same till the 21 st step. Upon reaching this last step,visualize a door ahead. Study it. Notice the details. Is it wood? Steel? Plastic. This is the door toyour special place. A highly spiritual plane.

Open the door and imagine your dream world. It may be a lake, a mountain range, even outerspace. Whatever you choose, make sure it isn’t the place where you are now. You have entered aplace where you can retreat to for hours on end just to meditate, to think, to converse withwhatever denizen you decide to manifest here. This is you sacred place. Your sacred placevibrates with energy. Breathe in and imagine absorbing tremendous amounts of energy. Do thisfor about three minutes to ten minutes or just allow yourself to fall into deep sleep.

At this level you will be aware of everything else around you however, you would find it impossible to move your hands at will. Unless the state is broken & you awake into complete awareness. Once awaken, you will feel more energized, think faster & clearer.

Here's a chart on the level's of states we fall in daily:

ALPHA: 7 - 13 cps Day dreaming condition; highly meditative state. Associated with super learning and enhanced memory
THETA: 3.5 - 7 cps Deeply relaxed condition; the exact moment when you fall asleep. Associated with extrasensory skills and
psychic abilities.
DELTA: 0.5 – 3.5 cps Deep, very deep sleep. A stage of heightened immunity.

Labels: Stuff That Works

How'd saturdays get from day of the week to just another weekday? Could it be cause i treat every weekday like a saturday? Finally got that 8hrs sleep i wanted, problem was waking up a quarter to 11pm. Well, a step at a time for improvements i guess.

Why are adults so boring? Is that the reason why i hesitate to come to terms with maturity? Or why i'm still packing t-shirts, jeans & bermuda shorts in the wardrobe along with my skateboard collecting cobwebs nesting a couple of big freaky eight legged companions in the corner of the room? What kinda life threatening experience would i need or prehaps a big ol Slap from reality to keep me in check?

Didn't get nuff sleep maybe that's why all the lack of air during swimming, dinner didn't help much either, two hours of guitar later i'm back in bed. So much for trying to study. i gotta stop having all these fucked up sleeping routines & keep to a solid 8hr pattern.

Was still busy enjoying breakfast & "whose line issit anyway" before i had to run down to the moe & immigration to do my student pass(thats after i found out it opens before 10am). Things went smooth with the moe but not the immigration, apparently i had to write some kinda letter now before they'd issue the chop? 10mins of the counter lady trying to explain to me in malay after which i left, still not having a clue wtf i was supposed to do. Could'nt be bothered with it anymore by the time i got back. frustration & the heat got to me so only solution, straight to bed.

Got up in time for class, a real quick one with preety good tips for an upcomming test i might add. Its nice when u get to manipulate ppl into doing ur desired bidding like my lecturer for example ha ha. Had a rather lively discussion with a classmate bout how everyone seems to be out of toner when last minute printing of assignments is required. Waited a bit before rach finally made it to my school after sum navigation from me, and all this while i tot she knew the way. How'd "BanHiong" sound like "Penanjong?" anyways? haha.

Off to belading, it's nice to see this girl again, quite the company to tease. Not much traffic for thursday night surprisingly upon arrival. Funny how everytime at belading your bound to run into someone you know, at least a table. Acouple of beers and a zig zag later im tripping on the way back to my car. I thought that was bad, now driving back was worse. Barely got out of an accident, before passing out for like an hour or so back home. When i came to, realize i'd left my passport back in rach's car & had an appetite to match the hangover.

• that's alota rams.
• let go of my floppy!
• "ping!" hey, its easy to get in!
• hmm think i need an upgrade.
• whats wrong with ur memory?
• virus?
• lagging already?
• it's jamed!
• wadaya mean can't read?
• "ping!" ok im in.

I finally got yahoo mesenger running & had a quick chat with an old friend who's graduating tomorrow. Every part of me was itching to be in his shoes, done with school once & for all & officially moving on with life. By 12pm my eyes started failing me.

Got up jz in time for dinner surprised no weird dreams lingering the subconcious today, barely had time to freshen up let alone a decent meal before heading off to class. Somehow class makes a lil more sense when im actually paying attention, well it was the tips give away for an upcomming exam so how could i resist?

After class, transfered some files off my friends harddrive to mine on another friends laptop which btw i was preety impressed with(this being the first time i'm messing with a touch screen laptop, i know im very sakai :P) Made like six bucks off the devil's den later, well at least its better then losing. With shot of the day going off to Harun for in & out pocketing of the que ball, which got me cracking up. Got home later & stuffed my face with 4 chilli hotdog's & a mug o whitecoffee. Ahhhhh that hit the spot, maybe thats why i cant seem to get my ass up now.

Three hours straight of computer architecture is just too many digits for my head. break, need break and food, need food.....

i just recalled a preety funny thing that happened yesterday, my lil six yr old cousin apparently started swearing and got caught by her older 12yr old brother(nothin drastic just Fuck & Shit). Anyways the thing is he was picking on her at some point during the night & she gets all pissed and starts running to her mom to complain obviously, now the interesting thing is, he yells at her going "if u tell i'll tell!" after which my curiosity gave in & got me going "tell what?" ha ha, ya'll shud hv seen the look on her face when her brother told me. Pricelessssssssss (anger all boiled up with her cute lil face getting red without a chance of letting if off) ha ha ha, kids are so intuitive, they automatically just come to know of these lil things.

i decided to use this lil threat to my advantage where i got her helping me with taking out the trash in the following hour. Thats untill her mom walked in & yell'ed at me to do my own chores. Ha Ha, i know what ur thinking, should've got her doing the dishes right? ha ha..

ok thats all my brain can eject at the moment unless u want a detailed description of the 4 diff address instructions in the CPU from what i've learnt the past 3 hrs? ... didn't think so... . Gotta go eat now....

Lately it's been reruns of "malcom in the middle" & "whose line is it anyway" filling up my final hours before hitting the sheets like sum 9 to 10am. Anyways getting up 7 hrs later doesn't always set u up for the best of moods. Got a call from my lecturer letting me know she wasn't gonna make it to class(usually its the other way round), eased me up a lil there but yet being ever so determined i still headed down to school anyways where i proceeded to the devil's den and came out two hours later and 50 bucks short. One of these days im gonna shoot that indian hustler! Thanks to my friend Harun who got me out or i would've gone home with only a barrel covering my private parts(like in them old school cowboy movies).

It's true what they say where if u start ur day in a not so desirable mood everything u do during the rest of the day just keeps fucking up one way or the other. I gotta learn to adapt this theory into that stubborn head of mine. It's like what my old lady always says, "Stop trying to blame others for ur own faults, yer lil fuck". ha ha, ok i exagerated a bit but hey, the point it clear & thats what matters. Tomorrow i'll go swimming and maybe this time i'll drown, along with my sorrows. Ah fuck it! whatever works....

swimming to joggin to school then home, got on line and pretty surprised but had a ng chat with that lady i mentioned in the previous post, good chat very good chat. its been months but sumhow the connections still there & the humour goddamn, havent laughed this hard without herbal assistance in ages. Well starving like a fuckin church mouse now so i guess i better go...

had a really long ass double episode dream today, involving practically familiar faces and the usual weird scenes that i never get. however the weirdest part of all was i found myself stuck in the crib of someone i thought i'd forgotten. they say easy come easy go right? like a one night stand, you'll get over it soon enough. the problem is i think i might have left a space in the back of mind, a lil slot in which unconciously she may have slipped an anchor to which once triggered will remind me of the ever so lil time spent together, the things i've learnt & felt from her.

it's like have u ever felt a sense of instantaneous connection, that click that just lets u know that person's gonna be right for u? And maybe u slide into that sense of having them known u forever, like u were meant to know this person? Maybe to a point where u can imagine a time in the future say years from now still feeling that incredible connection and lookin back at that moment as having been the start of it? its almost like i could feel a cord of light going from me tru her and as that cord begins to grow with the warmth of that connection, i dont know why but dejavu hits me so hard i swear i felt i've had this feeling decades ago, way before birth. I know she's not like "the one" for me, but im ever so grateful to have met her...

Anyways it took me a long long time to come to accept death as a fact although it's scientifically logical, yet we live life ignoring that fact. i know i did, the sooner u come to realize that fact & conciously adapt it to ur day to day life, the sooner u get to move on without hesitation....i know i am.

Labels: Movie Review

woke up today feelin real fresh, got my sleeping schedule back to normal so its all good. apparently the sleep early & start the day early living healthy routine just doesnt cut it for me. got off my lazy ass to do some swimming later in the evening, havent done that in a while thanks to the fhmd disease thats spreading around, with public pools (and schools apparently, lucky lil bastards)getting shutdown and all.

picked up two albums today, joss stone - mind body & soul and frank sinatra & michael buble - king of swings compilation. preety good albums only complain i have is not having enuf time to finish listening to them yet.

much later had a couple of drinks and checked out a preety good action movie, SPL some hong kong action movie. i havent seen any good action movies in awhile or any chinese movies for that matter, on the cover it says "HARD BOILED RAW ACTION" and damn it sure made its point, this one had me at the edge of the seat most of the time. the killing superb, the fight scenes excellent specially when u got two of hong kong's top martial art actors "sammo hung" & "donnie yen" apart form "jetli", "bruce lee" & "jackie chan". 4 out of 5 stars in my book for this piece.

lately i've been craving to surf ever since spending sumtime at meragam beach down here, it really sucks the fact that there's no surfing down here in brunei or any shops to support the sport. i had to look up the web for some surfboards and theres one kind thats kinda convenient for this area which is the ULI board ( apparently u can roll it up to fit in a bag and blow it up when u wanna surf) made out of the same material used for army raft boats. problem is it cost bout US$400 to US$400+ (Thats like roughly B$1000) thats excluding the leash, the bag or shipping cost. i think i saw an add on this on "Ripley's believe it or not".

Well anyways i'm preety sure i'll blow my first paycheck on that, back to reality, mr fry's (the sun) coming up that means time for me to chalos. maybe i'll sum good subconcious on surfing fiji? maybe just the old nightmares to break my sleeping pattern, whatever the case im done here for the night...

Labels: Movie Review

Had a real early day, joggin before the sun cracks its ass in my face, with like freakin 40 to 50yr olds doing their wake the fuck up routine, then straight to organizing sum stuff(what a way to start living healthy, doubt i'll be keeping this up).

i did encounter an interesting chat with an old friend later in the morning, surprisingly i learnt that u could end a civillian's life with just B$1000, not even contract yet effective assasins? thats an estimated 2 to 3 lives a month on an average local's income. provided they're twisted fucks without remorse. Sure would bring down the problem with unemployment here but im not even clear if its all jz bullshit.

By 1 pm im passing out catching sleep....got up like 6 made it to school but not class. Why is it that when u manage to kick an old bad habit u pick up another just as fast? as if thats not bad enuf its practically an old barely discarded bad habit like gambling. Drugs & ciggarettes are basically off my menu now with only alcohol keepin my mood up on occasions. but seriously, it doesn't take an smartass to realized gambling snooker with the owner of the pool house who practically sleeps in it, is just as clear as donating ur $ to fake charity. And this indian dude is one sneaky ass bastard, two hours & 40bucks later i'm heading home kicking myself and repeating " i will not skip class again to blow cash!"

maybe this blog thing's a gud idea to post reminders so i dont fuck up repeatedly in near future. Yeah well, hope tomorrow's less of a bitch to me.

The suns almost up, time for me to go.